happiness vs. joy

why do people (ie preachers) warn you to be careful of what you ask from God? i think its silly and it simply scares people from asking God for something they so desperately need. for the longest time, i have only asked God to help me in little things like, help me to be safe on my way to work, help me do well on whatever....well, i've been scared to ask for Him to do what is necessary in my life.

at the wichita conference this weekend, we spent some time on joy. i learned that happiness is happenstance and joy is lasting. suddenly, it all made sense to me. sure, i could be happy about a million things that i had going on in my life, but they're all so fleeting. yay! i have chocolate! but ooh i'm so sad its gone in 30 seconds! i had happiness to a certain extent, and was afraid to make changes in fear that it would bring about unhappiness.

but the Lord gives us joy. and no matter what is going on in our lives, no matter what lessons we are having to learn or what consequences we are having to reap, we can have joyful confidence. that this is all in our Heavenly Father's perfect plan for our lives and when we get to heaven we'll not be ashamed that we squandered the life He gave us.

Ecclesiastes 11:4 He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.

how foolish am i to think that my plans are better than the Lord's? how foolish am i to think that my happiness depends on me NOT asking the Lord for what he wants from my life? i have been missing out on blessings and joy because i have been so confident in my flesh. i am so sorry in my heart of hearts for this. BUT i know that the Lord is gracious and forgiving and i have a clean slate because of His gift.

Psalm 62:5-8 My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.

i am ready. now i pray that i really am. i have to remember to think supernaturally instead of having my human fears. yes, this will bring conflicts and it will not be easy, but the Lord has a plan for this. i will be able to handle everything with His mercy. if you are reading this, please pray for me and my marriage and everything else in my life, as things are about to be turned upside down. pray that i will hold onto the joy of the Lord and that i will draw from his strength as i have none.

the beginning

so it hardly seems right that i start a blog considering i have no children with which to blah blah blah about, BUT i do have lots of ANIMALS!!!! so beware, you all have children, i will BOMBARD you with pictures of my babies! and you will love them as i must-er-of course love your children. as justin and i have no intention of having kids now or anytime in the near future, we have three cats and two dogs. and how, you ask, is that managed sanely? well i'm glad you asked. its not. one must clean the litter pan once a day. oh wait, that was singular. one must clean the litter panS once a day. although one is automatic, so occasionally i'm able to wait to tell justin to clean that one out till the next day. food and litter are serious expenses, but very much worth it. vet bills can be a pain, but eh, we survive.



"The Kitty" is the oldest of the bunch, and was originally justin's pet. i've fully adopted him now, but i can't help but feel a bit less loving to him than the cats that justin and i've gotten together. he's nice and all, but he's justin's cat. that's all there is to it. he's about 4 years old and by far the least problematic of the three.



fred was the first addition to our family. calista brought down two kittens, one for me and one for my mom. we kept the one that we thought was a boy and gave the other (that we thought was a girl) to my mom. turns out we were completely wrong, but we did in fact name her fred AFTER we knew she was a girl. i think its cute whatever anyone says.



then we stole pierre. yes, i pilfered a feline. he wasn't in a good place, living with drug dealers and such. but i did reap what i sowed when he began peeing all over the place and also broke his arm. about two thousand dollars in vet bills later, he has a pin in his arm and its healed completely, and he finally was fixed after three surgeries and no longer pees on things. for the most part. he is my favorite as he sleeps with me and cuddles me in the mornings. he's more than worth what we've paid for him.





justin had been bugging me relentlessly for a dog. we had lived in apartments for about a year and a half and there was no way i could handle a dog with three cats. but we moved back in with my mom to help her out, and it just happens that she has a HUGE backyard. i finally gave in and thus we adopted lord william buckley esq. he's a german shepherd mixed with who knows what. he's nearly a year old now, but so big that i forget a lot of the time that he's still a puppy.

then about three weeks ago, we got the latest addition. her name is murphie and she's a jack russel terrier/beagle mix (we think.) she's older than william, but not by a whole lot. she's so small that she can walk right under him to start gnawing on his knee. (can i say that a dog has a knee?) she's completely hyperactive, but at least william has a playmate. i'll take her to the vet next week most likely. unfortunately, i don't have any pictures uploaded from the camera yet. don't worry. it'll happen.

so now that everyone has been introduced to the vanzant babies, i feel i have accomplished fitting in. its late and i need to get into bed. so i'll try to keep up with this thing, and with christina on my back, i'm sure i'll make a half way decent attempt. but no promises! the end.